I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
