hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My bed smells like the plague
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