Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
being pregnant is like rehab
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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