Me. At least after what I've been through.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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