my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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