So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
