Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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