I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
