I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
there is glitter all over my balls
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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