And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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