Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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