Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
