Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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