I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
