I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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