he thought i was a dude.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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