all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
