Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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