yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
