Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Quick, to the slutcave!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
