Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
