so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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