question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
