i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
