Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
