it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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