4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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