Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
