worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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