Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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