If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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