I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
