Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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