I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I believe in your delicious
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
