just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
