trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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