so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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