try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
