i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
