she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My liver just had a heart attack.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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