"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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