my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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