It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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