Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
