I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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