ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
