I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
