hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
