what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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