yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
