Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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