I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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